People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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