She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
