oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
