I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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