I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
