It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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