Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
