slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
