is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im holly from the hills drunk
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
