The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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