It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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