Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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