oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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