I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
