Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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