If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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