I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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