Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
