Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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