someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
