I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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