someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
