garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
