We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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