why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
