Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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