Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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