I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
