Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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