I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
