some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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