it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
