You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
