i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
