I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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