it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
