absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
