question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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