Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
