Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
