you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
