If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
