Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize