I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish my penis had a tongue
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
