love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize