Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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