I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
