The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
