member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We have started to decorate penises.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
