Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
