Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
