I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
