Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
