I can text with my tongue
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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