I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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